The Accidents
by Alchemist arrow-project
Summary: Jiraiya, the only person close enough to being his only familiar contact. The only man close enough to being his father figure, was just announced killed in action. He could feel his heart snap in two, all he wanted to do was drown himself in alcohol. And he did, but only let himself morn for a week. He still had goals, still had a teammate to bring home. Gender bending, NaruxHarem
1. Chapter 1

In which: Jiraiya, the only person close enough to being his only familiar contact. The only man close enough to being his father figure, was just announced killed in action. He could feel his heart snap in two, all he wanted to do was drown himself in alcohol. And he did, but only let himself morn for a week. He still had goals, still had a teammate to bring home. Now memories are slipping in and out of reach.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Honestly I think Naruto should have had a bit of a longer time/chance to morn for the man who represented his missing father. I've also made a few if not a lot of gender changes. **

**Beta: None at the moment, I'm looking for one.**

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><p>Naruto stared at the clear liquid just sitting in his cup. He could still remember Ero-sanin-no Jiraiya-sama's face, his heart hurt and he downed the shot of burning liquid hoping to forget. He pored himself another shot, and heard his perverted giggling. He downed another cup. Jiraiya had always seemed like such a goof, most people wouldn't take him seriously, call him a pervert and whatnot. No he was a genius of information gathering. Naruto swallowed another cup with a barely there cringe.<p>

All he wanted to do was forget for tonight. The Kyuubi topped with his own genetic enhancement made it hard though. He had probably already drunk enough to put out three different jonin. All he felt was the slight buzz. He wanted to forget, he grabbed the bottle and guzzled as much as he could. He didn't want to remember the mans smile, his proud look. He didn't want to remember the man who could have been his father in all but blood.

He set the bottle down finally feeling like he could forget. He took another drink quickly to make sure he wouldn't remember until morning came. He would deal with this when it came to where he needed to be an adult about this, right now though? He had every right to drink himself silly.

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><p>Naruto opened his eyes with a groan, his head hurt badly. He slowly sat up careful not to upset his stomach anymore. He had done that stupidly when he woke up the day after the first time he drunk himself under the table. He had spent the better part of his morning emptying out his already empty stomach.<p>

Standing up almost had him racing for the toilet. He carefully walked down the hallway to his kitchen to get a glass of water to calm his stomach settle. He felt like he had blacked out for an entire week, that shouldn't have happened. He breathed and set the cup down on the counter. He could have done something unbelievably stupid in that time and he wouldn't remember.

He knew that the alcohol wouldn't really help him forget, just postpone the actual confrontation.

Naruto dressed himself in black for the funeral of a man that had held the title of honorary father for a few years now. The body wouldn't be there though. No that was some where in Ame still.

Naruto slipped his shoes on and exited his door. Sakura stood there dressed in black, she seemed slightly subdued. She offered him a sad smile and walked next to him as they made their way to the service. Nostalgia hit him. It was almost just like Jii's funeral, except Sasuke had his hands stuffed in her pockets and walked on his other side.

"I'm sorry for your loss dickless." A female voice broke him out of thought. He looked up, Sai was standing there not in her usual belly shirt and pants suit. She was wearing a black robe actually. She actually wasn't smiling, he didn't actually think she could read the emotional cues quite yet but she was starting.

Naruto blinked and saw the girls face expressing pure ecstasy as her head was thrown back, her back arched, and her fingers sliding up his chest as she rode him in the dead of night. He blinked again and the image was gone. He blinked again confused. 'Where did that come from?' He thought to himself as he gave her a small no and continued walking.

That was odd. Seeing Sai's face in anything but a blank mask or fake smile was a bit weird. It was actually kind of hot. He shook his head, he shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts right before his tou-san's funeral.

All of Konoha must have made it out here to pay their respects to the sanin. He was a hero. He was their hero. He was so many things.

Naruto came to a stop in the crowd, he looked up at the front where Tsunade was standing next to Shizune. Both were dressed in black, Tsunade looked as if the whole world suddenly thought that her shoulders were the place to rest. She had bags under her eyes and they were red and puffy as if she had been crying all night.

He then took in the empty casket they had filled previously during the week of what little he had kept in his old apartment. There was a picture sitting on a squat table that had a black table cloth over it. The over cast sky did set the mood, dark and depressing. All Naruto felt was an awful numbness that was bone deep.

The picture was of Jiraiya just moments after the world had come to know him and his teammates as the legendary Sanin. He had a huge smile and looked just like he did when Naruto had caught him bragging to any one who would listen to him about Naruto.

Naruto moved forward and placed a white rose, that Ino had been handing out, among the accumulating roses on the casket. A pang shot through his heart, it was almost like some one could hear the cracking of his heart. Then suddenly it shattered and a roar of thunder rolled through out the sky. The sky ripped open and cried the tears that Naruto himself couldn't cry.

He took a step back and allowed himself to finally grieve. He finally allowed himself to believe that he really wasn't coming home. He finally let himself embrace the sadness that followed him around like a gray cloud. Some where along the lines real tears mixed with the rain down his face.

He looked up towards the heavens and wished not for the first time that Jiraiya was happy where he was now.

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><p><strong>Just an intro. Yes there will be gender bending (not enough girls in Konoha for our favorite blond ninja).<strong>

**I want to know which girls you want in his harem? They need to be women or girls that can get pregnant, if you know they can't but know of a way to make it possible then please suggest the woman and the loop hole for them. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

In which: Naruto is recognized as the hero of Konoha he should have been recognized as much sooner in life. More flash backs with different girls. An awkward situation and a long talk with Kakashi.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Honestly I think Naruto should have had a bit of a longer time/chance to morn for the man who represented his missing father. I've also made a few if not a lot of gender changes.**

_**Beta: Still in the market for one :(**_

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><p>Naruto frowned at the body, he looked so frail so worn, nothing like the strong man that had planned to bring this village to its knees and almost succeed all for one person. Or well it, a jinjuuriki. Something more than human, a vessel that could potentially be carrying the salvation to the world or the destruction depending on how one used it.<p>

Naruto breathed out a sigh, "You still had the best intentions in mind." He said his peace and looked up at the only other living soul in the same area as himself.

She gave a sad smile, "He always thought he knew best, he never meant for us to fall this far." Her paper began to coat the frail body, "Thank you, Naruto for opening our eyes."

He let out a very soft laugh, soft and sad. "That's all I'm ever good for."

"If that was true, you would have never made it this far." He looked at her with slight surprise written on his face. "You're a lot stronger than what you think. You defeated the path that had complete control over gravity. You took a killing blow and stood to face the man who wanted you dead." She placed a hand on his shoulder, "You are the man that the frogs talked about." She smiled at him, "Do what we couldn't, what we couldn't see that was laying right in front of our eyes."

He blinked at her and a smile, soft and sincere, curved his lips up. "I will, believe it."

"I do." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Good bye Uzumaki Naruto."

"Good bye Konan." He watched as she dissipated into paper and floated out of the cave on the wind, Nagato's body was gone as well.

He unclenched his fist from around his stomach holding the paper bouquet and looked up at the ceiling, they were safe. All Konoha was safe, the only place he could ever call home. His face split in two with a relieved smile before he made his way out into the light.

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><p>Naruto could feel the strain of his body more and more, he pushed himself once more tripping over a root that had been in his path. He closed his eyes prepared for impact. He was too weak to catch himself. He never felt the impact of the ground. Instead it was pliable flesh and bone that wrapped him in a warm embrace. He blinked his eyes open, "Kaka-sensei?" He mumbled to the woman keeping him from meeting the ground.<p>

She hmmed and pulled him tighter in her embrace. His arms felt numb otherwise he would have lifted her up in a circle. She was still alive. Nagato really brought them back. Naruto blinked and tucked his head into her neck.

She held his shaking form, her mask around her neck was slowly soaking up salty tears. She didn't say anything and just held him. "Don't you ever-" He hiccuped, "Don't you ever die on me again." His voice was raspy and forced from the tears that soaked her shoulder.

"I don't plan to." She pulled back slightly to look him in the eye. Both her mismatched eyes looked into Naruto's cerulean blues conveying the truth of her words.

He blinked and suddenly he was looking down at her, her mask was missing and she was talking to him directly in front of his cock. He could feel her fingers deftly undo the buckle to his pants, could feel her hands gently touching him through his pants. His heart rate accelerated.

He blinked again and her eyes were crinkled in a way that told him that she was smiling underneath the mask. "You did well, we are all waiting for you." She slung one of his arms over her shoulders and hugged his waist to keep him up right.

"We?" He echoed slightly subdued from the early image that his mind had trudged up. Nothing was making sense any more.

She only answered him by tightening her hold on him and taking a leap into the trees.

He said nothing as they traveled, well it was more like Kakashi was doing all the traveling and all he was doing was putting his weight on her. Why was he suddenly getting these thoughts? Where did they come from? First it was of Sai right before Jiraiya's memorial. Then when he saw the two girls from team ten. Ino and Shikamaru kissing over his body had left him hurting for days afterwards, even with a cold shower that didn't evacuate the heat between his legs. Even when he saw Kiba the other day. The girl had blushed extremely bright just like Hinata used to do around him and stuttered a hello before vanishing. He had seen her on her hands and knees back arched with him holding her hips pounding his length into her. Then now with Kakashi. The woman who taught him how to walk up trees and correctly hold a kunai. He was seeing her as one of the girls his age and not the mother figure she should have fallen into.

He breathed feeling himself pulse beneath his pants. If he didn't stop thinking about this soon Kakashi was going to notice. That would be very awkward.

Naruto blinked out of his thoughts at a sound. Looking up ahead he saw a crowd waiting for him. "Wha-?"

"The toads told us what you did." Kakashi told him with a smile. "They are all here for you."

A smile lit up his face, "YOU COMPLETE IDIOT!" He flinched at Sakura's harsh words expecting a hard hit on the top of his head. Instead he felt her arms wrap around him and his air leaving his body from her bone crushing hug. "Don't ever do that on your own again? You knuckle head." She whispered into his ear. He decided to ignore the fact that she sounded about in tears.

He let out a strangled chuckle and she released him.

Ebisu adjusted his glasses from afar. They were wrong, oh so wrong. Naruto was never the demon, he was their savior in the flesh they were just too blind to see it. Now after he saved them once again their eyes had been opened. Guilt wasn't present though. No that would come much, much later. When the excitement of a new hero dwindled and died would they finally reflect on the past and the present.

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><p>Thwack. Naruto slammed his fist into the training pole again. Three weeks and still nothing. Sasuke just vanished again. No trace, no nothing. Itachi and Kisame had yet to resurface. Hidan was still missing, what ever made Shikamaru let that bitch go at the last possible second would forever be a mystery to him. Konan had sent word of Ame's progress but that was it. Nothing important trickled through to him. No missions either. Konoha had to be rebuilt, again.<p>

Yamato, made the process easier and faster but it still took forever.

He stepped back from the trunk and wiped the sweat from his face. Looking up at the sky he noticed he was out there for four hours already. He let out a long breath and walked over to his shirt and pack. He fished a water bottle out his bag and downed half the bottle in one go. It was hot out for getting closer to winter.

A paper butterfly flitted into his view. He blinked, he had yet to even answer her last letter. He reached out and it landed on his finger. He brought it to his face while unfolding it.

_Naruto,_

_Somethings wrong. I don't know what it is but things here are getting weird. Some times the wind will blow the wrong way, I think it might be an omen. Some thing bad is going to happen. I don't know what, all I know is that its just around the corner._

_When Nagato and I were in the Akatsuki, there was this man that he would answer to. We were told to call him Madara, but only if it was just us. He would behave like a child around the others and call himself Tobi. I believe Nagato had something he wanted. Whatever it was he will be back for it._

_Naruto I can't protect it. Not against that man. Normal attacks wouldn't work on him. His blood line makes it possible for him to phase through weapons and attacks. I quite literally can't touch him. I need your help. Ame will fall to him with out you. Please I'm begging you. Help my people, help me._

_Konan_

A puff of smoke engulfed Naruto as he preformed a shunshin, right to Tsunade's doors. He didn't stop to knock and threw the doors open in his shirtless glory. He was too worried to care about how the four females stared at his chest that rippled with muscles every breath he took. He blinked taking in Tsunade, Shizune, Anko, and a very pregnant Kurenai. Tsunade had her hands suspended in front of Kurenai's belly as she blinked stupidly at him. Shizune flushed an interesting shade of red and quickly busied herself with the stack of papers on Tsunade's desk. He saw Anko lick her lips and Kurenai shift to close her legs tighter.

"Baa-san!" He exclaimed, not with his usual loudness though. Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. He ignored every thing and thrust the distress letter he held in his hand towards the blonde haired woman. "Something bad is going to happen. We need to do something."

She rose a brow at him and took the paper from him. She scanned it's contents, "Shit." She cursed and threw the paper on her desk. Immediately her attention went to her shelves, "Why did it have to be him?" She muttered to herself.

Naruto watched her move around with a somber expression. This wasn't a time to be goofing around. This was serious. Konan could be in real danger. She was important. Really important, he could feel it in his bones. There wasn't any time to waste.

Tsunade made a small triaumphant sound as she grabbed a thin brown leather bound journal. "Naruto, if this is who I think it is, this isn't good at all. He is supposed to be dead." She opened the journal and activated the sound proof seals. The other three women stiffened.

"Lady Tsunade, should we leave?" Shizune asked meekly.

Tsunade looked over at her as if just realizing that it wasn't just Naruto and her in the room. She waved her hand back and forth as if to say don't worry about it. "Naruto is going to need back up, you all will do just fine. This way I don't have to debrief any one else." She turned her attention back to the journal. "Naruto, how much of Konoha history do you know?"

"That your gramps founded konohagakure to promote peace and stop the warring of the clans. The Senju and Uchiha were the first ones to settle here." He shrugged unhelpfully. "That's pretty much it."

"That's mostly correct." Tsunade began, "Yes my grandfather wanted to build Konoha but it wasn't his idea. He got it from an Uchiha he used to talk to at a rivers bend. Do you know what that man's name was?"

Naruto's eyes widened, "Madara?"

"Yes. He was the clan heads son, they decided to try and make Konoha after Madara took his fathers place." She sat down at her desk. "Konoha worked perfectly and when it came down to who was to be Hokage, Madara wanted the hat. Though so did my grandfather. They left it up to the joining clans to vote." She looked out her window, "Most people didn't trust the Uchiha and it was unfairly slated towards the Senju's favor. Madara really didn't have a chance. As the story goes, Madara finally had enough and confronted my grandfather. He challenged him and summoned the Kyuubi. My grandfathers wife was with them at the time. She was an Uzumaki." She held up her hand for silence before Naruto could question anything. "Uzumaki were known for their seals and huge chakra storage. She sealed the Kyuubi inside herself and became the first Jinjuuriki ever. Madara and my grandfather were friends once upon a time, he didn't have the heart or will to kill Madara. He let him go." She slumped, "If he really is alive, Naruto, you won't stand a chance. He has had about a hundred years of experience. Naruto he was already an overpowered bastard to start with." She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Shit."

"I don't know what to do." She massaged her temples, "The only thing I can think of is taking this Konan to stafety. She is the only one who knows where his body is correct?"

"Yes."

"Then she is the only one who is in danger." Tsunade sat up straight and took papers from her desk. She began to furiously scribble on one. "Naruto, Anko, Shizune. I'm sending you on a retrieval mission. Rank A, if anyone asks its to be considered an S class secret. Kurenai can I count on you to house Konan after those three bring her here?"

"Hai." Kurenai sat up a little bit straighter.

"Naruto will be captain for this mission. I'm giving you two weeks. That's more than what is needed however I need you to cover your tracks. Cover them well. Back track, and everything. Konan must disappear until we come up with a better solution. I'll debrief my brightest minds on this, I don't want every one knowing she's here. Take to the Anbu paths, Anko will guide you." She sat back and held out the piece of paper towards Naruto. "One is a letter for Konan, the other is my expressed permission for you to leave town. I expect you gone at night fall."

"Hai." They all coursed. Naruto stepped forward and took the papers from her hands.

"Good luck." Tsunade crossed her fingers in front of her mouth. "We are all counting on you."

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><p><strong>Thank you for all your reviews :D I have a list of girls that I have said yes to after replying to your review.<strong>

**LIST: ****Fem. Sai, ****Fem. Shikamaru, ****Fem. Kakashi, ****Fem. Lee, ****Fem. Neji, Fem. Sasuke, ****Fem. Kiba, ****Ino, ****Anko, ****Konan, ****Temari, ****Kurenai, ****Tsunade, ****Shizune, Yugao, Hana, Fem. Itachi, Fem. Kisame, Fem. Hidan, Yugito, Samui, Ayame, and Fem. Iruka.**

**Funnily no one asked for Hinata. Well my 'poll' (it wasn't really one) has been closed some may not actually be put in my story. I will try my best to include them all, but somethings just don't click.**

**I have challenges on my profile for any of those willing to write one. **


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